“Sassy is not just about clothes, it’s the badassery”

Er…no one said the above quote really. I just made that up. But heck! How true are those words! I know, I know…sometimes I’m nothing less than a super genius. It’s not easy being one though. Folks say I epitomize sass. I have to agree, of course. I’m called Miss Sassy for a reason. You see, being generic is mostly boring. Sometimes it could be fun. Like when the doomsday arrives and the earth is destroyed to bits and there’s no world, so there’s no life, and so there’s no room for being sassy. You get my point.

I don’t remember exactly when I decided not to be dumb. Maybe that time when I saw some bloke wear head to toe red and white (You could’ve simply draped yourself in a canopy honey, would’ve saved you some bucks) or whenever I see a set of over-plucked eyebrows (or maybe they were going for a very adventurous twin sperm look, who knows). Whatever it was the day that I decided to be, you know, normal (yes, sassy is normal, cluelessness is not!) I assumed the responsibility of passing this valuable knowledge over. Well, okay, it might mean that I’m a bit mean (see what I did there?) but at least I’m trying to make the world a better place. “Better” means stylish of course, it always does.

So dear dahlings, before you pull out another trapeze dress that makes you look like you’re wearing a tent (which might still actually be better than the red-and-white canopy though) or squeeze your post-festive collagen into that tiny bustier, much to your discomfort as well as the discomfort of onlookers, pay heed to Miss Sassy here. Why you ask? I could give you a million reasons, but for now let’s just stick to one: Sassy always has a lot of fun. So unless you want to sign up for Generic Inc. you might as well follow my advice. Because I hate bumping into eyesores on the street. You might not value how you look but I take my people-gazing hobby very, very seriously. And everywhere I look I want to see beautiful butterflies. You don’t wanna hear “Do you prefer fashion victim or ensembly challenged?” do you?